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Date: 2020-12-04 08:35 pm (UTC)[ Well, it's certainly not because of her arms, since they aren't covered at all. The bandages mostly cover the parts of her arms that aren't wispy, and even seem to extend further under her clothes. ]
I was... I was afraid you might've been hurt in what happened afterward...
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Date: 2020-12-05 01:39 am (UTC)What? Oh, no, I was fine. [ And for once, she actually means it. ] No one hurt me, I...mostly kept out of sight.
You... Did that man hurt you?
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Date: 2020-12-05 01:49 am (UTC)My... the black parts of my arms don't feel pain if something pierces them. But one time, his aim was a little off...
[ It's probably for the best that Riley wasn't there to see that. In any case, that doesn't explain the extensive bandaging. ]
M-Most of this came after, though...
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Date: 2020-12-05 05:42 am (UTC)For once? Riley finds herself not disagreeing with the twisted voice that hisses in her ears. Riley finds herself regretting that she didn't do that herself. ]
That disgusting... [ One hand curls to a fist, but the other is hovering, above Yuzu's head, as if she's just a step away from pulling her aside and looking for any wounds she might've missed. ]
After...? You mean after those jerks dragged me away? What did they do to you...?
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Date: 2020-12-05 06:18 am (UTC)Oh, no I mean... when everything went crazy and we all got set free...
[ She doesn't realize it, but her eyes are watering. ]
It's... it's not what they did to me... it's what I did to them...
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Date: 2020-12-05 08:29 am (UTC)[ Riley doesn't need to ask that question. She saw MacCready. She saw Giorno. She hears her own insistent, creative thoughts.
She doesn't need to ask. ]
You...lashed out at them. Didn't you.
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Date: 2020-12-05 02:59 pm (UTC)I just... I was set free and then I saw them...
[ She trembles a bit. ]
Something just asked me what I wanted to do to them... and suddenly my arms were longer and sharper and...
[ Talking about this was hurting. She thought she could keep herself together but the guilt is tightening around her neck like a noose again. She still remembers how easy and satisfying it was when her arms changed into claws that cut easily through the people who hurt her. ]
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Date: 2020-12-06 07:58 am (UTC)You were...affected by whatever was... Whatever everyone else was.
[ A wavering tone to her voice. This isn't... This isn't the place to talk about this. Riley goes to take Yuzu's arm, gently. ]
Is there, um...anywhere you like to be in the city? Anywhere...comforting?
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Date: 2020-12-06 04:01 pm (UTC)[ There wasn't exactly anywhere she considered comforting in this city. ]
I don't know... it feels crowded everywhere I go...
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Date: 2020-12-08 12:45 am (UTC)What about... Do you know of anywhere people don't go? Somewhere quiet?
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Date: 2020-12-08 12:55 am (UTC)[ There wasn't a lot of places as far as she knew in Bavan, besides the top of buildings (that she was at one point carried up to by a friend when her changes started hurting in the middle of the sidewalk and she was taking up space in the crowd. ]
Does a roof work...?
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Date: 2020-12-08 08:56 am (UTC)Come with me.
[ Not like she's giving her much of a choice... They're closer to Hestia's Place than far from it, so that's her go-to, as...it's the only place she really has access. ]
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Date: 2020-12-08 01:47 pm (UTC)[ Well, it's not like she doesn't trust Riley, so she lets her lead Yuzu to wherever she wants to take her. ]
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Date: 2020-12-08 11:36 pm (UTC)Come on, up this way.
[ Elevator, a set of stairs... And here they are. A nice rooftop, no one else around. ]
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Date: 2020-12-08 11:52 pm (UTC)Oh...
[ She looks a little more relaxed, even if only a little. ]
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Date: 2020-12-09 01:47 am (UTC)Is that a little better? [ She sounds softer than Yuzu's heard her before. Gentle. ] Sometimes... Sometimes just not being around anyone else can help a little.
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Date: 2020-12-09 01:53 am (UTC)Yeah... yeah it is...
[ She takes a few shaky breaths. The open air feels nice on her face. ]
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Date: 2020-12-09 03:31 am (UTC)If...you don't have a lot of places like this, you can come by whenever you want. No one'll...look at you, or...or anything. Not even me, if you don't want it.
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Date: 2020-12-09 03:44 am (UTC)Thanks... this is... this is really nice...
[ She takes another shaky breath and wraps her arms around herself. ]
I'm... I'm sorry you had to see me like this... or see me like that.
[ It feels so... damsel-like, to be in these situations. ]
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Date: 2020-12-09 05:52 am (UTC)While she understands, very much so, Riley is firm in her response. ]
You shouldn't apologize for something they did to you. [ She strives to keep herself soft and gentle. To not let the fury she's feeling enter her voice. ] They're the ones who put you there. In that place, and...and pushed you to that.
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Date: 2020-12-09 06:09 am (UTC)[ They did push her. Their actions are the reason why she lost control... why she let loose, why she did what she did. ]
...but it's still a choice I made. I heard the dark voice in my head and I agreed with it.
[ They were bad people. They tortured her and so many others... but to Yuzu, that feels like nothing more than a flimsy excuse for her choice. ]
The only thing I can do now is try and atone for what I've done... even if I've already become a bad person.
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Date: 2020-12-09 07:24 am (UTC)I- [ Easy. ] I don't think it's that easy to say someone's a bad person, Yuzu. Especially if you've been forced into it. Like all of us have.
[ ... ]
The, um, the voice? What'd it sound like?
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Date: 2020-12-09 03:10 pm (UTC)Um... sometimes it sounded like a woman I've never met... other times it sounded like me...
[ Said-woman being the Fog God, but since she's refused to communicated with either of the gods, she doesn't know what any of them sound like. ]
cw: untreated mental illness; intrusive thoughts
Date: 2020-12-10 05:05 am (UTC)Riley lets out a slow breath. ]
That's... There's clearly some kind of...of outside influence. Someone told me things like this just kind of...happen, in Ryslig.
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Date: 2020-12-10 05:26 am (UTC)...I know. I know that voice was probably just another thing that happens here...
[ She knows that voice was hardly her own. She dealt with it the entire week she was trapped inside a cage being "trained". ]
But I agreed with it. I was set free and it asked me if I wanted to make them pay.
[ A beat. ]
I said yes. That's my sin. I could have chosen to fight it, even if just for a little bit, but I didn't. I only started fighting it when I realized that I hurt someone important to me.
[ She turns to face Riley and smiles. It looks and feels bittersweet, but it isn't forced. ]
Thanks for taking me here... it helped. Hopefully I can help you in return someday.
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